(27/06/08)

The world. Full of people who care.

Lies! All of it, lies!

There is never permanant friends. Only permenant interest.
-Mr Paul Lim. Humanities teacher.

People saw me for what I have, not who I am. (past)
People see me for who I am, not what I have. (That's what I thought.)
People see me for what I have, not who I am. (present)

Am I only good to be milked till I'm dry. Then to be discarded?
Am I only good for what I can provide?
At least I know how God feels when people look for the blessing instead of the blesser.

I am like sheep to the slaughter. But this little sheep sees. This little sheep knows. This little sheep is gonna run. As far as I can go. Time and energy and money wasted. People have played with my goodwill. No more. After today I say "No More!"
Never again shall I waste my effort, never again shall I toil for others. Never again will this world deceive me. The world is full of people who will lie, steal, kill and destroy. They'll do anything to get what they want. People. You've succeded in deceiving me once, twice. But this is as far as you shall go!

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on you.
Fool me thrice, shame on me.

If there was no one on earth. It would have prospered. It would have been a world of peace, without lies, hatred, racism and the like. I guess God never expected His children to be like that. Woe to the man who veils his evil ways with love. Woe to the man who tries to deceive me.

Believe me, it's never my wish to turn this way. But I have. Do not ever, deceive me with your honeyed words. For this little sheep has seen through it. And he will run.

I wonder if I should have started this journey at all. Was it worth it. Sure there are ups. But tis always for a moment. The journeys through the valleys are longer, darker and scarier with each passing moment. The reward? I've yet to receive it. I may never. It's heresy to speak like that, but God, this is what I see.