Light in the dark.

It's been quite a while since I've blogged eh guys? Feels good to blog again. The past week, from Monday till today, has been hectic, scary and troubling. First let's talk about Monday. Sum it up in one word : Hectic. Why? Because after my physics remedial, which by the way ended at 4, I had to go for a debate sit in. For those who don't know, I've been chosen to represent the school in a debate competition. Praise God. Anyways, back to the debate sit in. My team was given a motion, and we had to debate with the other team. God! It was tough cause...

1) I have no experience with debating

2) We didn't have enough time to come up with enough points for our stand/rebuttal.

But I managed to see through the whole sit in. Tuesday was kinda lonely, I felt like I was the only one in class, even though I was surrounded by bumbling baboons... Then got news that 2 of my favourite peeps won't be at school on Wednesday. I felt kinda sad and angry, and when I heard that I felt even more lonely... Wednesday was our school's Chinese New Year Celebration. So we had a lion dance performance, puppet show, song singing session and of course each class set up their own stall to sell new year goodies. I had quite a time there, was fun hanging out with my other friends, though it was quite lonely. And to top it all off my classmates still hate me. But God was with me wherever I went. He has been true to His promise...

"...Do NOT be afraid of their faces,
For I am with you to deliver
you," says the Lord.

-Jeremiah 1:8

Lo and behold, my vice-chair, who actually, a few days back refused to work with me, refused to call me by name, even trying her very best not to look at me, addressed me by name amd looked at me. Even the regular 'bad boys' in class seemed a little more docile towards me that day. Truly God was with me that day. Of course my day didn't end there. My debate senior saw me during the carnival and told me to gather the members in my team so that he could brief us on the competition. After the briefing he surprised us by saying he was treatng us to lunch. Everyone was happy, but I was the only one who could make it. I guess that meant more for me! Haha! Then I went back home after lunch, got dressed and went over to my aunt's house for our reunion dinner. It was a wonderful time of fellowship with my cousins, uncles, aunties and my parents. Got 2 Ang Baos that day!

On Thursday I went visiting my relatives and collected Ang Baos. Ayron was a very satisfied boy that day... Anyways I managed to collec $454 that day. Truly it was blessing, after blessing, after blessing.

On Friday I managed to see most of my favourite peeps, praise God, even my most 'favourite-st' peep came. Anyways we managed to fellowship with my mum, watching a movie called XXX. Now don't think dirty! It's an action movie featuring Vin Diesel. Anyways Kelvin made this comment

"This movie is good, but when auntie make her comments it became better!"

respect leader's decision...

That day after Kelvin, Cynthia and Sara left, Lokies, Joel, Belle, Sap and I had a mini-cell group meeting. Was kinda funny...

But whatever goes up, must come down. And it applies for the spiritual realm as well. I was attacked by him and he brought back some old, painful, memories. From dinner onwards I was quite troubled and I felt quite down. Suddenly I felt so alone in the dark... The light within me had gone out... Won't go into all the details lest it sparks the painful memories again. But thank God for Lokies. Thank God that He placed someone like him in my life. Thanks to Lokies and God, I managed to find the light in me once again. I was free from bondage. Thank You God, thank You Jesus, thank You Holy Spirit. Thank You Lokies!

This song that Lokies gave me helped a lot too...

Strong Enough
Stacie Orrico

As I rest against this cold hard wall will You pass me by?
Will You criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war has just begun

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enought?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please could I have one chance to start again?

Will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there anyway to be made whole again?
If I'm healed,renewed, and find forgiveness find the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plan?
Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

He took my life into his hands and it turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance
It's there I've finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me
Oh Thank You for my chance to start again

Psalm 91:5-7

You shall not be afraid of the
terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by
day,
Nor fo the pestilence that walks
in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays
waste at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right
hand;
But it shall not come near you.

Lastly, today I went to church, and felt the presence of God. It was a most wonderous feeling. To feel His love, grace, mercy and lovingkindness. I want to feel that all the days of my life. Perhaps it's time to check on my life. But God, thank You for the love You show.

Seeing me for who I am. Seeing past my flaws and all. That is the love of God.